Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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