her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He did a backflip because drugs
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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