I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize