lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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