Please, let me fuck your mom
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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