Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
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I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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