Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
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God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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