My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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