I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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