good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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