So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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