we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All the doctor said was why
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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