That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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