Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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