we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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