ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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