i already hear my dad disowning me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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