I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
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At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize