Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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