So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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