Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize