The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize