talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize