Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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