she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
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The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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