the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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