you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize