All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize