The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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