what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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