I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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