Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize