Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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