The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize