A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize