awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My ATM looks so different sober.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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