It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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