she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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