Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize