My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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