I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize