dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
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Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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