I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize