don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize