I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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