me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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