no, he came in my armpit
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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