Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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