franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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