i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize